189.

I'm really tired of these arguments I've been having with my mom lately. Not the ones about the state of my room, the ones about my attitude as a nutritionist.

I'm tired of having to defend the fact that I care about these things.

I always used to think that the only reason I'd ever move out is if I got married but I'm beginning to rethink that. I feel like the only way for her to be less irritated at me now is for there to be more distance. That way I can't talk about how her eating habits feed her diabetic condition. She'll tell me that her blood sugar levels are doing poorly and then I'll ask her what she ate. She knows why her blood sugar is high. Everyone just wants to hear "take this, it's a magic pill, you'll get better."

I'm tired of answering the same questions over and over again. And more than that I'm tired of her picking this fight with me over and over again.

I feel like a horrible daughter, I don't want to move out. I always thought when I was younger that she was lonely and sad and to some extent I still think so. It's gotten better but she's still lonely and she's still sad, still bitter and angry over things involving my dad. A lot has changed but at the same time not much.

After I get my certification and work a bit I'll think about it again.

Friends Cut

I'm going to be doing a friends-cut after I type out this entry. A pretty big one and while some of the people I don't think will be affected I do think I need to explain myself since whenever these things happen it feels personal no matter how you say it. But at the very least I don't want to upset anyone or make anyone feel like they're not liked. That's not how it is.

If being cut upsets you I hope that you'll read this and hopefully be able to understand a bit why I think it was necessary. It's not my intention to hurt anyone.

Collapse )

Please if you're not angry with me and if you want to know me better, talk to me? I've met a lot of wonderful people through comms and rps. Some of them I haven't talk to in a while, partly because I don't know if they still want to talk, especially in cases where common interests have been lost.

It's selfish and burdensome but I want to try to know people better and to let them know me better. So if it's something you're willing to try please do talk to me. Through email or through aim or whatever.

171. lists, lists~

I got home um YESTERDAY. And today I went to work 8D Surprisingly it wasn't all that bad.

...work that is. HK was uh not the best but it could have been much worse. The weirdest thing is that the first night I got there I woke up screaming, I'm pretty sure I scared the shit out of my sister, oops. Bad time to share a bed.

I managed to talk to my father though! Without screaming! Or panic attacks! Or massive headaches! I shall continue to try to repair this relationship, hopefully. If he can refrain from being retarded and I can refrain from yelling it should work, maybe.

I'm at one of those times of my life (or well, random day of the week) where I am STRANGELY OPTIMISTIC. It's pretty weird...since I really have no reason to be but wtf, why question a good thing?

Collapse )

WILL I EVER DO THESE THINGS? Idk man, idk...

putting energy where it counts~

Well since I got an email saying I didn't get a table for AA I thought I'd do something else since I won't have to be...you know ripping my hair out trying to make stuff for that.


Sweet Charity


So uh I dunno if anyone else is interested in that but it's pretty cool. It's a charity auction for fandom things like fic, graphics, etc for charity. The money raised from the auctions will be donated to RAINN. They're taking sign ups for auctioning from now until the 19th and on the 20th the auction starts.

I offered a 20 icon set and a digital illustraction... SO yeah um sign up? Or bid?

Anyways it sounds like fun so YEAH...I'm gonna have to learn how to pimp myself better.

Stuffed pancake (1st trial)

Notes on custard filling:

  • Custard needs to be sweeter to balance out the cake (2 tbs. sugar)

  • experiment with a thicker consistency



Notes on batter:

  • crepe batter makes messy stuffed pancakes, experiment with something more cake-y

  • texture was too chewy



Notes on cooking:

  • let the bottom cook longer before flipping

  • add a thin layer of batter over stuffing & let it cook before flipping

  • cook on low/medium heat



Hm...it's not as easy as it looks, that's for sure. The first batch ended up too burned and a bunch of them aren't er sealed properly I guess. The thing with the crepe batter is it cooks fast but then it forms a layer of cooked crepe and it's much harder to get the rest to harden so it's really messy to work with like this. I did manage to make a few that look kind of cute so pictures of that later maybe.

Overall...not very good. But then I like batter and I like custard so it's good enough for me >.>

& this is so much easier than a cooking notebook.