JOYouC (mytyl) wrote,
JOYouC
mytyl

189.

I'm really tired of these arguments I've been having with my mom lately. Not the ones about the state of my room, the ones about my attitude as a nutritionist.

I'm tired of having to defend the fact that I care about these things.

I always used to think that the only reason I'd ever move out is if I got married but I'm beginning to rethink that. I feel like the only way for her to be less irritated at me now is for there to be more distance. That way I can't talk about how her eating habits feed her diabetic condition. She'll tell me that her blood sugar levels are doing poorly and then I'll ask her what she ate. She knows why her blood sugar is high. Everyone just wants to hear "take this, it's a magic pill, you'll get better."

I'm tired of answering the same questions over and over again. And more than that I'm tired of her picking this fight with me over and over again.

I feel like a horrible daughter, I don't want to move out. I always thought when I was younger that she was lonely and sad and to some extent I still think so. It's gotten better but she's still lonely and she's still sad, still bitter and angry over things involving my dad. A lot has changed but at the same time not much.

After I get my certification and work a bit I'll think about it again.
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